Self esteem sangat low sekarang. Tadi tengok gambar2 lama. Jumpa gambar ni.
Walaupun gemuk baju hampir koyak macam sarung nangka tapi jelas nampak aku sangat bahagia.
Huduhnya lah hai muka tapi takpe tengok rasa bahagia. Sighh.
The past two days I have been very upset about what the people in my office secretly think of me. Talam dua muka, you know? Depan baik belakang Allahualam.
But here I have to remind myself of the advice I once gave to a homie:
"Why do you have to dwell over something someone you hardly care about said? You can't please everyone. At some point in life, you will meet someone who will do nasty things to you because that kind of people do exist, the kind that aren't afraid of God's punishments. What really matter is the people whom are dearly to you. The rest are just merely the supporting characters of your story. Just another passerby who would make your story interesting. What's a tale without a pig to slaughter?"
As for me, I can't really say I'm not bothered at all, because the makcik was actually someone I once respected, someone I looked up to. But turned out she's the thorn in the flesh (direct translation of duri dalam daging. You know?)
I'm gonna allow myself to feel vulnerable for awhile until I've finally gained my normal level of confidence: awesomeness. It's been awhile since I care about what people think of me. If she was some random person on the street, I'd brush it off, but since she's someone I know for sometime, I guess that's the reason why it bothers me so much.
I forgive easily, I really do. But only to those who say sorry. I don't simply forgive. The people who hurt me intentionally but never apologize can rot in Hell as far as I'm concerned.
My homies are away for too long. I guess the main cause of my depression is not because of the lies but because it's been awhile since I hangout and let loose.
But then I guess too much.
Okay off to bed. Cheerio.