Life has been pretty depressing for me these few weeks. I don't know what went wrong, or what I did to piss karma. I lost alot of things and gained pretty much nothing. I lost a nail, I lost my position in PSN, I was denied of my FA and Costing tests. I've lost 10% each, so that means I have to struggle for my final. I lost Kasukma, I lost the gold medal to someone else. I lost faith in my friends. I lost my respect for someone. I lost interest in my studies.
I don't know what gives me the strength to keep a smile on my face. Because right now I don't feel like smiling at all. I hate it here. I never liked it here. I never did. But every morning I tell myself to suck it up like a man, even if I'm a gay man stuck in a woman's body. Life goes on. Maybe someday it'll get better. Maybe it won't, I don't know.
I wanna go home. The less time I spend here, the less pain I feel. I wanna go home and hangout with my homies. Honestly when they're around, nothing can ever bring me down. They're my strength and joy. Every semester break has always been the joyest days of my life.
I am currently listening to Wavin' Flag by K'naan. It reminds me of WC. It reminds me of the time we hung out. The late night drive around JB, the joys and heartbreaks of WC. I remember thinking how I wish the moment never end. I felt so alive! Hahaha. God, I'm sad =.=
No point to reminisce. Now fight for As in final. I want 4.0 this semester.
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1 month ago